Of Memories and Misery
by Auditory Eden
Summary: This was no place for "Til death do us part". Chihiro/OC, eventual Chihiro/Haku. T for character death and angst.
1. The Loss

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

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xXx

Some things to be known:

Flames will be used to amuse Red XIII

I do not own anything even remotely related to "Spirited Away" (Sen to Chihiro, whatever), except a copy of the soundtrack, which is awesome (anyone who wants some of the songs should email me. I can send you copies.).

Chapter 1: The Loss

Chihiro blinked awake to the sound of a loud _thubbetty-thump, thubbetty-thump_ noise. Outside the car window, which her face was pressed against awkwardly, trees flashed by at –she checked the speedometer-80mph.

"Eighty miles per hour!!??" She screamed as the numbers clicked in her head. "Kureno, _stop_!!!!"

Her ever-reckless boyfriend just turned to grin at her rakishly, and turned back to the road.

The car continued to hurtle down the dirt road as Chihiro yelled at Kureno. Eventually, when he just couldn't take it anymore (let's face it, who could?), he turned and yelled, "Geez! Chihiro! It's not like I'm going to hit-!"

"Look out!"

He slammed on brakes, barely avoiding collision with a mossy jizō statue. Chihiro turned and glared pointedly at her boyfriend, the carefree, nearly-got-them-killed driver.

"What happened to 'I wont hit anything'?" She asked irritably.

Kureno grinned from ear to ear. "Well, I didn't actually hit anything, thanks to you…" She glared, half in amusement, and half disgust, before popping her car door and clambering out to come face to face with…

A big, pink, old looking "train station"(1). Chihiro narrowed her eyes at the big abandoned theme park that her family had taken a walk in while they moved to a small village from Osaka when she was ten.

Now, at seventeen, she was a much more mature person, but in looks she remained basically the same. Her long brown hair (now taking on it's customary summer blond streaks), was tied back with a glittery hair band (2). Two shorter chunks hung on the sides of her face, and her bangs were much longer. Her face had hollowed out a little, emphasizing her cheekbones and stripping away her baby fat. Her body wasn't perfect, but strong and toned. She was a lot taller than before, and her feet seemed too big for her spindly ankles. She had also, out of nowhere, sprouted a figure. Striped tee-shirts were still a favorite, along with super-short running shorts. Chihiro had met Kureno, her best friend's boyfriend at the time, during a track meet. They had instantly liked each other, and when Amiko broke up with him at the next meet, they made plans to go out. Amiko had merely shrugged and said, "Rather you than me…" and ignored him.

Now she stalked up to the building, examining it closely, sifting through her memories.

"Where've I seen this?" she wondered aloud (3). Kureno shrugged.

"Maybe you saw a real estate ad for it or something. Let's go in. This is the place I was telling you about. It's really…pretty." He cringed, wishing he'd used a more manly word, but Chihiro beamed.

"Okay!" She grabbed his hand, but then looked at the building. It _was _very creepy, and _very _dark… Both of them faltered as the wind blew from behind.

"It's pulling us in…" she breathed, having an instant sense of dejá vu.

"Don't be silly, Hiro. Must be a coincidence." He pulled her forward, her face contorted in a frown.

"No." she ran back to the car, jumping in and closing the door. "I'm not going. I remember this place now. When we were moving here, we went in and got lost and it was nothing but woods." It definitely wasn't somewhere she wanted to go again, pretty or not.

Kureno sighed. She was making the _face_, the one that meant no matter what you said, she would be sure to ignore it until you gave up and gave in (5). He clambered back into the car, strapping in and turning the key in the ignition. Pulling the car around in a three point turn, he drove back down the dirt path. A stony silence permeated the air until they were back on paved road.

Chihiro gave a sigh of relief, then her neck snapped as a sixteen-wheeler slammed into her side of the car.

xXx

When she awoke there was pain. A tugging, pulling pain, right in her chest. It grew, and grew, till she was gasping for breath, clawing at her skin, sitting upright with a jolt. She cringed, realizing she was in a room, like a hospital, with a soft bed beneath her and a warm blanket on top.

All this she saw through eyes tearing from pain. A gruff, grandmotherly voice came from behind her. "Breathe, dear."

Chihiro took a deep breath. The pain still wracked her frame, but the oxygen helped. A woman with a head so hugely out of portion to her body that the size of her nose shouldn't really have been a surprise walked into the room, watching Chihiro out of the corner of her eye.

"What…why am I…?" she gasped out, fighting back the physical anguish.

"You're dying, dear. Or rather," the woman chuckled, "you're getting used to being dead." Chihiro couldn't quite care enough through the haze of pain to even try to look horrified. Instead, she just looked like she'd eaten a lemon. The bobble-head woman came over, taking her shoulders in her grip, instructing the wincing girl.

"Breath. Now, reach inside your mind." Chihiro tried, looking at her thoughts.

"Imagine your body. Get up out of it- just _do it_! And walk away. Let go." Chihiro imagined, then saw, with perfect clarity, a her with a badly broken neck, lying next to a beeping monitor in a hospital room. Asleep, or in a coma. She imagined being _in_ that body, and suddenly she was, unable to open her eyes, immobile, but in her body. The heart rate monitor spiked. Her pulse was going up, but she knew she'd never wake up.

"Her heart rate! Get the doctor!" Her mother's voice.

Chihiro summoned her whole mind. She saw herself standing up, swinging out of the bed, then turning to see…herself, going white, the _bee-beep, bee-beep _of the monitor slowing. _Let go_. She did. Somehow, she did.

And she was back in the soft bed in the white room. No, she realized. Cream colored walls, wood floor, white lace curtains. Just clean, not sterile. The grandmotherly woman had let go of her shoulders, and was heading to the door. "I believe we have a guest…" she announced over her shoulder to Chihiro. The door closed and she left, leaving Hiro with a sense of knowing the old woman. _Granny_. She had called her Granny. A visitor? She saw an open door, a grand dragon, which shouldn't have been alright, but was.

Then she was back, puzzling over her memories.

From the next room she heard, "_Found two children, human spirits, lying out there…yes, in here…a girl. You might…_" in the voice of Granny, _Zaniba_, then a boy's voice, familiar, "_Not…no. Of course…best regards. May I…?_"

The door opened, Granny walking through with a boy, maybe older than Chihiro, trailing behind. His hair was green, his eyes the same color, his skin porcelain pale (6). She appraised him silently. Maybe…she might have known him…Hair loose around his face, shorter, thin, too old for his body.

"Dear, this is Haku. I'm Zaniba. And I don't believe we've heard your name yet?"

She continued to frown at the boy. "Se…Chihiro. My name is _Chihiro_." Now she frowned at her hands. _Sen?_ Where had that come from?

A gasp from the boy, Haku, _Kohaku River. _The colors…he looked like the dragon. Then, a groan from another room, one over, through the other door, drew Zaniba from the room muttering, "That'd be the other one."

"The other one? Kureno? Is it him?" Chihiro sat up straighter. She remembered an impact, a slam. It must have killed him, too, surely? But was it wrong to wish he were dead, with her?

"Yes, yes, dear. You should be resting,"said Zaniba, gently, from the doorway, before continuing into the next room. Chihiro huffed and sat back against the soft pillow.

"Chihiro?" Her head whipped to the side, facing Haku again. "So…it's you…" His head shook slowly.

"Do I know you?" Her words caused his eyes to widen, a slight blush to rise to his cheeks. This time he nodded, then responded verbally.

"You did. You were lost here, oh, for you I suppose it was seven years ago, for three days. With your parents. But when you left…you weren't supposed to remember." His head was bowed now. "I shouldn't be surprised..."

"I wasn't supposed to remember…? But I remember some things…Zaniba is Granny, and you're the Kohaku River, whatever that means. And I'm dead, apparently." She shook her head to clear it. _Spirit world...bathhouse....Haku...Flying, on a dragon...Kaonashi...._ "You're a dragon..." she said slowly. "And...something about a frog?" His eyes danced with laughter.

"Yes, he's one of the bath attendants. Kaonashi (7) ate him, at one point," then he sighed, his smile disappearing (8). "And yes, I am a dragon. In theory (9)."

She studied his eyes thoughtfully, then said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are. I mean," she paused, "I see you and think, Haku, river, dragon, apprentice to evil witch, but I don't know how I know this stuff..."

"I wouldn't expect you to," came the slightly distracted reply. He turned the full force of his gaze upon her. "Do you remember anything else?"

"The frog, lot's of frogs, actually, a bathhouse, and a shadow with a Noh mask...A woman like Granny whose name is Yubaba. A fly. A...hamster? Guinea pig? A really fat baby," she listed offhandedly.

He nodded. "And you and Granny...kind of..." she added.

"Well, the frog I just told you about....The bathhouse...was were you worked while you were here. And Yubaba owns and runs the bathhouse. The shadow is Kaonashi, who should come to bring you tea in about three minutes. The hamster is the baby, and he's Yubaba's son...Yubaba is Zaniba's sister, by the way..." he explained.

"And a big sea, and soot balls, and lots of grass, and pigs, and black shapes, and flowers....lots of flowers," she began to warm to the subject, listing flashes of memory with gusto. "And...lots of blood. On wood. A train...and fear. So much fear."

Haku smiled sadly. "Yes," he began, "the spirit train. There are flowers in the gardens by the pig pens." His voice became guarded, "The pigs...were probably your parents...The blood was mine, and the fear was probably of my making as well..."

"And the black shapes," Chihiro asked, cautiously.

"Deceased human spirits," he told her awkwardly, then looked away.

"Dead people? Like _me?_" she demanded.

He rounded on her, eyes snapping with fire. "No! Not like _you_, but like the boy in the other room, like your parents will be when they die. Like every other person on Earth, in the human world will! But not you. (10)" He turned away from her, eyes closed breathing through his nose. "I'm sorry," he said, finally. "It's just difficult, because I'm not used to you not knowing things."

Silence prevailed. Then she broke it. "Why?"

"Why what?" he asked, his back still towards her.

"Why not me? Why am I different?"

Breath leaving his lungs in a harsh puff he responded, "There are two reasons. First, you ate spirit food while you were still alive. It ties you to this world, and made you...different. Second, you have an exceptionally strong spirit," he glanced at her form the corner of his eye. "Your spirit has another name, different from your...normal one. Sen."

She gasped. _Sen_. The name she had almost called herself. And the memories were coming back in a more steady stream, now. Haku, saving her. Rin, taking care of her, teaching her to pour a bath, clean a tub. Yubaba, scaring her witless. Haku, injured. Haku, guiding her through a beautiful garden, giving her her _real _ name back. "And Kureno...he will fade?"

Haku sighed and nodded. "If he hasn't already, yes, he will fade."

Chihiro choked back a sob. Kureno, become one of those awful, awfully scary figures that haunted the ghost train?

She leapt out of bed, but slid, and Haku caught her with deft strength. He tried to push her back onto the bed, but she slipped quickly underneath his arms, darting into the other room.

"Chihiro!" his exasperated voice only halted her steps for a moment. Kureno was lying on an identical white bed, and his hands were already turning into black mist.

"Chihiro-chan," he said, smiling.

Tears were now running down her face in full force. "Kureno! You're...!" Her voice quietened. "You're fading!"

His brown eyes looked her over. "Aren't you?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm not. I won't." A look of panic came over his face. "Why not?" he asked, his voice calm but shaking slightly. She gulped. "I—oh, you'll never believe me, but here goes." She took a deep breath, aware both Zaniba and Haku were watching her. "I've been here before. I didn't remember until now, but...this is the place my parents and I got lost when I was ten, on our move to Osaka. I was here for three days, and I had to eat spirit food so I wouldn't disappear. It changed me..." She wiped at her tears. The blackness had spread up Kureno's arms, up to his shoulders now.

"Can't that work for me, too?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not, dear. You're dead. Little Chihiro was still alive when she was here. It does make a difference. Now the food would only make you fade faster," cut in Zaniba. "The spirit essence will only cause your spirit to convert more quickly."

"But the black spirits can't talk," whispered Chihiro, mortified. "You...I wouldn't be able to talk to you, even if I could recognize you..."

"We can't _talk_?!" he exclaimed, sitting up with a start. His use of the word "we" stung Chihiro. It was clearly a "we" in which she was not included. He was already leaving her behind...

"Only amongst yourselves, dear. While human spirits can talk with each other, they can't speak to other types of spirits..." She neatly folded the blanket on the end of his bed. "However, there is the matter of reincarnation. If you choose to, you can be born again. You have to--"

Chihiro tuned her out, getting up, standing next to Haku.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

She looked at him with red rimmed eyes. "Why?"

He sighed listlessly, and shrugged. "I gave you the food that meant you couldn't go with him. Of course, I didn't know the consequences then..."

She shook her head. "No, Haku. If you did...and I say 'if' because I don't remember, then you're the reason I met him at all...You're the reason I didn't fade back then..." He turned her face with a finger on her chin, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. He released her face, but then squeezed her hand. The gesture seemed platonic enough, so she returned it. Her face grew warmer, and she could tell a slight blush was dominating her features.

"Chihiro!" Kureno called. She pulled herself away from Haku with a certain reluctance, their fingertips brushing together as she walked towards her fading boyfriend's bed. She wasn't quite sure about the spark that had seemed to ignite via his touch, but then resigned herself. What did it matter? She was going to be very suddenly single in only a few moments.

"Chihiro?" His voice was growing fainter as the shadow creeped up his torso. "Can you help me get outside?" She nodded, keeping her face blank as she helped him out of bed, slinging his arm over her shoulder. It was ice cold, so cold it almost burned her. Zaniba held the door as they limped outside.

Once through the kitchen, out the door, and on the path to the train station, she let him go, and he swayed slightly before regaining his balance. "Chihiro—" he started, but she interrupted him. Whispering, she said, "Kureno, I know we've been...romantic for a long time, but after you fade..." she shook her head. "I want to be able to look for happiness without guilt. I want _you_ to be able to look for happiness without guilt. So, I release you, with all my heart." She stepped back. The shadows were at his jaw, curling up onto his face.

"Goodbye, koi-bito...(11)" he called as the darkness swallowed him whole. He turned away, a black figure that seemed to swallow light. Down the path, with Hiro squeaking along beside him.

The minute he rounded the curve, out of sight, Chihiro felt all her strength drain. Her legs buckled, and she was falling. But then two warm arms caught her. Two thin, spindly, but very strong arms. Through a dim haze of fog, she could feel herself being hoisted into the air, cradled against a chest that, though clothed, she could tell was lightly muscled.

_ "Poor dear, this was quite a lot to go through right when she woke up..."_

_ "We should get her back to bed..." _

She was moving gently, like being rocked. Then she was being put down on the soft bed, but she clutched at the shirt her face was pressed against. A masculine sigh, followed by the careful disentanglement of her fingers from the fabric. And then she was falling, falling into the black, warm darkness—but no! The blackness had swallowed Kureno whole, eaten him alive!

But she didn't have the strength to do more then whimper, turn her head, and give a tiny cry of "no!"

_"Shhh..."_ a thin, warm hand brushed her bangs to the side, exposing a her forehead to the chill air. The fingers moved down the side of her face, and she gripped them loosely with her own. She heard a soft laugh, and clung to the fingers still more tightly. They wrapped around hers, and she suddenly knew that she could sleep, because these hands could pull her out of the darkness. The warm dark closed over her, and she slept.

Zaniba walked into the room with a tray of tea things, and noted with a chuckle that Chihiro had fallen asleep clutching Haku's hand. She placed the tea things on the end of the bed, and magicked two chairs into the room. Kaonashi drifted in behind, standing guard in a corner.

They were in for a long wait...

xXx

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Well, here's the footnotes:

The entrance to the Spirit World, the world Chihiro (at the time Sen) had worked at the bathhouse in.

The one that the hamster, No-face, and the fly make for her...

Of course she doesn't _remember _it...

She remembers it as "nothing but woods"...

Woman's most prized possession...

Guess who.

_Kaonashi_~No Face (literally "faceless")

His emotions change quickly, like water.

Connection to another fic of mine, "Dragon Kisses"

He's very angry...and slightly bi-polar. I think it's better for Haku to be capricious than stolid. He is, after all, a river god.

_Koi-bito_~literally "lover"

Parting Comments: Thanks for reading! Skittles to anyone who reviews!

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


	2. The Memory

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

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Things to be seen:

I. The disclaimer is on page one.

Chapter Two: The Memories

Chihiro tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, but she found something was impeding her. A white hand with long, long fingers, clutching at hers tightly. She followed the arm, up to a shoulder. Where a sleeping green head lay.

Haku.

She had a feeling she'd seen him asleep before, but his face hadn't been so serene as it was now. It had been crinkled in pain, stained with blood, _his own blood_, and he had just saved her.

_The blood was my own, that's what he said,_ she thought, gazing at the sleeping boy. She vaguely remembered a man with six long arms and two stubby legs. _Kamaji_...

He stirred lightly, his lips parting. Haku was so relaxed, so comfortable...And he was holding her hand. If her short-term memory was correct, he'd been holding her hand for a few hours. Possibly more. She felt a hot blush rise to her face. _He'd been holding her hand when she fell asleep_...

A loud, irregular snore made her turn her head. There was Granny, asleep in a chair as well, and Kaonashi standing in a corner, leaning against the wall in a way that suggested that he was unconscious as well. Granny snored again, then was silent.

The sleep-ridden atmosphere tempted her back into slumber. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she murmured Kureno's name under her breath.

She didn't wake till next noon.

xXx

The sounds of clinking and the removal of Haku's hand woke her at last. She blinked in the bright light streaming in through the window. Granny bustled in, a pink, ruffled apron tied at her back and throat.

"Time to wake up, dear. You slept for two days straight. And you should know," she leaned in to whisper in her ear," Haku never once left you, my dear..." She straightened up, or rather, tipped back over, and waved her hand with the air of one commanding.

"Get up, dear. There are some clean clothes for you on the chair..." and the she bustled out again.

Chihiro dragged herself upright, and swung her legs out of bed. Her feet hit the cold floor, and her vision fuzzed. She clung to the bedpost while her head cleared and the blood pressure issue sorted itself out.

She toddled over to the chair, pulling a pink fabricyukata and a small obi belt from the pile. Her real-world clothes were dirty, and looking at them as she shucked off all but her underwear, she cringed.

She pulled on the robe, tucked it left-over-right like she was supposed to, then wondered if she, as a dead person, should tuck her kimono right-over-left, like a corpse dressed for burial or cremation.

She decided to leave it as-was, and tied the belt at her waist. She pulled on the zori sandals, also on the chair, and shuffled out into the kitchen, where Zaniba and Kaonashi sat, eating what appeared to be oatmeal, and guzzling tea.

Granny winked at her and said, "Haku had to leave, dear. He supervises my sister for me, makes sure she doesn't get up to any real tricks...And he'd been away almost three days, so he had to return and check that she's not being a brutal pig." She sighed. "Breakfast, dear. And that robe looks lovely on you."

Chihiro took her seat at the table, and began eating the bowl of gloppy brown stuff. She was not a picky eater, in the least.

The oatmeal, as oatmeal it turned out to be, was sweet and nutty, although it was sticky enough to glue her tongue to the roof of her mouth. She gulped a mouthful of tea to loosen the concoction, and continued eating. _Haku looks after Yubaba, does he? What has she done to deserve it? _she thought idly. Her bowl of glop was now half gone, and her tea had run out. She refilled, then stretched.

_Kureno really loved nutty stuff, _she remembered. But he was gone now. G-O-N-E. A black human spirit, unlike her, a brightly colored, if a bit listless, girl who'd had a reckless boyfriend who was two years older than her. Who'd died, presumably, in a car crash and now had lost her stubborn, rakish boyfriend _after death._ To Hell with "till death do us part". It hadn't. What had was an unfortunate sequence of events that happened when she was _ten_.

She gulped down the last of the sticky porridge and took her bowl to the sink, where Kaonashi was washing the breakfast things.

She was _seventeen_, for goodness sake. She wasn't supposed to be dead! She was supposed to live out her life til she was old and wrinkly, an old woman who'd lived her full lifetime. But now she wouldn't. Would she even age? How could she be sure? She was a Unique Case. And would she be able to get enough over Kureno to begin looking for love again?

She sighed, and wandered back into her bedroom, planning on making the bed and then washing her clothes. If she could be useful some other way, she would try. Working had always kept her mind off of unpleasant things. She worked when she needed to calm herself.

To her chagrin, the bed was already made, and her clothes, looking clean and new as the day they were bought, were sitting neatly folded on the chair. She stepped back out of the room to see the dishes drying on the rack, and Kaonashi sweeping up.

"Granny!" she called.

A muffled voice echoed back through the open front door. "I'm out here!" Chihiro shuffled out to speak to her.

"Is there anything I can do? Clean? Do laundry?" she demanded of the large woman. "Dear, you can go sit and rest yourself, there isn't much to do today. Or maybe try to remember a bit more..." came the strangled reply. Chihiro ran around her to see that...her mouth was full of clothes pins as she put out the washing.

"Granny, how so you try to remember something?" she demanded. Zeniba turned just a bit to look at her kindly.

"Dear, I once told you, '_nothing that happens is ever forgetten', _didn't I? Just think about for a while." With those enigmatic words, she shooed her back into the house.

Chihiro sighed, sliding out of the zori. She padded back into her room, sitting on the bed. For a few moments, she simply sat there, kicking aimlessly, and staring at her feet. Then she pulled her legs up, criss-cross-applesauce, and sat meditatively, with her eyes closed. "Haah..." she sighed.

Behind her eyes, she pictured Haku. _I might as well sort things about him out first..._ she had a feeling not knowing what had happened between them could make her life very difficult in the future. She gathered all her fragments of memory about him. Blood. Flowing air, no, _water_.

Her eyes snapped open. "Water..._mizu_...." It took an active effort to close her eyes again. She reached back into her memory, and grasped a fragment of a boy on a bridge. Next, she did something that she couldn't explain, looking back on it later. She _tugged_.

_And it flooded into her mind, filling her senses. But the scene that surrounded her wasn't that of the boy, but instead that day in the car, driving to a tiny town where they were moving because of her father's work. She saw everything through the smaller Chihiro's eyes, felt everything she felt, but maintained a separate consciousness. _This is the day I stumbled into the Spirit World._.. she realized. Not that she actually remembered it, but that was the time she and her parents had gotten lost, the time everyone said she had been there. _

_ "Look, there's your new school, Chihiro-chan," her father said. _

_ She felt herself turn to look at the primary school that had been a fun, happy place for her, but little her didn't know that, and stuck out her tongue. She'd liked it better in Osaka. _

_ "I'll have to go to the next town to shop..."_

_ "We'll all get used to it..." _

_ Now she she was springing forward. _I was so sad, back then_, she thought. "Kaa-san! Kaa-san! My flowers are dying!" _

_ "I told you not to smother them, dear. We'll put them in some water when we get to our new home..."_

_ Chihiro noticed, not for the first time, that her parents cared very little about her at the time. They were always wrapped up in work and their separate social lives, and for them, "parenting" meant juggling Chihiro and the more important things in their lives. A bitter anger at them and a deep sense of loneliness blossomed in her chest. Second fiddle was always a harder part to play. _

_ "Kaa-san, what are those houses?"_

_ "They're shrines. Some people pray to them...."_

_ "Honey, slow down! You're going to get us killed!"_

_ "I won't hit anything!"_

_ "What's that!?" _

_ A screech of tires. A mossy jiz__ō__ statue. Wind..._

_ "The building's pulling us in..." And then grass....on the other side. The Spirit World...._

_ "It's an old theme park. They built a bunch of them in the 90's, then they all went down with the economy." _

_ "Something smells good!" _

_ "Stop it, you guys!"_

_ "I'm going to look around."_

_ A huge...clock? No, it was a signpost, with a giant character on it; Yu. She turned right, and was met by the sight of a huge bathhouse. A very old-style, extremely elaborate bathhouse. And a big, red bridge. She could hear a train._

_ Her legs carried her out onto the bridge, where she peered over the edge. A train passed, many feet below. She ran to the other side, but there was nothing. Strange. _

_ Then she heard footsteps and looked up into the face of an extremely handsome boy. His slanted green eyes bored into her for a second before realization dawned on his face, and he gasped. "Human! You shouldn't be here, you have to go, now!" He pushed her away angrily, then muttered, "They're lighting the lamps...I'll create a distraction! Go!" _

_ She ran down a few steps before stopping and rubbing her eyes. "What's his problem?" she wondered, and continued running._

_ Now, all around her, the shops were opening. Ghostly figures drifted. She darted down an alley, back towards her parents. Instead, she was met by two opulent pigs in her parents' clothes. A scream tore from her throat as a shiver passed through her body. "Kaa-san! Tou-san! KAA-SAAAAN!"_

Chihiro's reverie broke. Her parents had been pigs. _Pigs_. She shuddered. The sight had been so disgusting and terrifying...A tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

She slipped off the bed, and walked over to the window. It was dark now, drizzling, and probably cold. Still, she continued through the kitchen and out the door.

She pressed herself against the wall, then slid down it, to bury her face in her hands.

She had begun to remember, but now she didn't know if she wanted to see what else had happened. The remnants of her first encounter still flashed, and she blushed when she realized that out of all the guys she'd ever seen, he was among the best looking, even at twelve. He seemed so angry with her...

Sobs tore through her body as she huddled. Rain was coming down fairly heavily, now, and a rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance. Miserable in the cold and wet, she let go completely when her consciousness started to drift. She was lightly asleep in moments. A fork of lightening, followed by a crack of thunder, opened one eyelid a fraction of an inch, before it drifted closed again. Next time it opened was because she she could sense a presence by her right leg. She caught sight of the leg of a pair of hakama before her eye closed again.

"Chihiro? You need to wake up now..." a calm male voice.

She scrunched up her nose. "Mmmrfl...Kureno....?" Then she sneezed violently.

The voice returned. "No. Haku. And you need to get inside right now." No response. He sighed. "Haah...fine. Don't say I didn't warn you..." He reached down and swung her up into his arms, against his chest. It was only then that he noticed how cold she was. Icy. Like a corpse.

But she was still breathing, and so he carried her inside, cradling her tiny frame. Zeniba looked up as he opened the door. She nodded her understanding.

"Back so soon, Haku?"

He looked down into the face of the sleeping girl in his arms. "Yes. I'm afraid we have some trouble on our hands."

xXx

Parting Comments: Has anyone else noticed that Chihiro spends a lot of time asleep? It's, like, my transition. Need a change of scene/time? Knock her out, hey presto!

Other than that, I expect a few of you out there are wondering what's up with her rather inconsistent memory. In Chapter 1, she regains what seems like a lot of her memories, then a page later has forgotten them. This is because....Well, actually, I have no excuse. I forgot that she'd remembered. I typed out her grand remembrance, then went and took a shower, went to ballet class, ate dinner, and started where I left off...At this point, I think she re-forgot in her sleep...So, um, please don't kill me?

Remember, no one's perfect.

Something interesting I realized:

_Yubaba= hen-granny_

Really. "Yu" is the character for hen, and "Baba" is an affectionate form of Grandmother, or Granny. I find this amusing. You might not.

As for footnotes...well, I don't think as much needed explaining in this as in my last chapter. If you have questions, review or feel free to PM me. As always, I love feedback and, yes, reviews will be rewarded with Skittles or a chocolate chip granola bar, your choice. The Granola is healthier, but the Skittles taste better.

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


	3. The Misery

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

xxxXxxx

xxXxx

xXx

Things to be known....

-Disclaimer is on page one

Chapter 3: The Misery

"I'm afraid we have some trouble on our hands."

Haku's words hung in the air. Chihiro, barely conscious shivered. She could feel a fear behind those words, and that was _wrong_. Haku was so strong...that if he feared something....

Zeniba's cut through her groggy musings. "Trouble? What's my sister up to now? And Haku, dear, bring her over here, by the fire." Chihiro could vaguely feel herself being carried again. She didn't want Haku to put her down. He was _warm_. Alas, she felt herself lowered into a chair, callused fingertips lingering on her skin as someone folded a warm blanket around her. Zeniba spoke once more, this time to Chihiro. "Drink this, dear. I know you can hear me," a warm earthenware mug was pressed into her hands, and she mustered her strength to take a careful sip. The liquid was hot. She tasted lemon and ginger. Energy and full consciousness soon returned to her, her fingertips regaining feeling.

When she opened her eyes she saw Haku sitting on the other side of the fire, his back to the hearth, watching her with eyes narrowed to slits. She bit her lip.

"Ah good. Fully awake now, are we, dear?" Zeniba smiled at Chihiro, then motioned to Haku with one hand. "So, what _is_ my sister up to?"

Haku shifted his gaze to Zeniba now, and spoke. "Not much of anything. She can't. There was an attempted mutiny at the bathhouse two days ago. Some were injured. If one of the rioters hadn't betrayed his group...there would have been no way to combat it. Someone almost certainly would have been killed. As it is, six were injured, and two of those have infections. We need your sage-moss salve for them..."

Zeniba bobbed her head in acquiescence. "Of course, Haku. Will you be taking it now or send someone later?"

"Later." He elaborated, "I can't carry anything accept riders in my dragon form. And if I dropped it...." With a shake of his head, he indicated the worst. "Without it they both may die."

A gust of wind blew through the door, and Haku twisted suddenly in his seat, his eyes widening. "Yes, yes, of course," he muttered resignedly. He stood abruptly.

"I have to return. Someone will come for it tomorrow morning," he stated, his brow furrowed. As is remembering something, he turned to Chihiro. He knelt by her seat and leaned over to whisper in her ear. She shivered as his cool breath blew on her ear. "Chihiro," he started, then paused. "Chihiro, there are many people here who love you. Even if you don't remember them yet. Don't be careless. If you keep trying to just throw yourself away, you'll hurt so many." He pulled away and moved for the door.

"Tomorrow morning," he repeated, "Early." The door, still open from the wind, shut after him, even though he did not appear to touch it.

Zeniba turned to Chihiro, her eyes alight with curiosity. "Well, dear, what did he tell you?" she asked. Chihiro shook her head slowly. "Not much...just....to be careful."

"Ah." Zeniba looked mildly disappointed. "Perhaps you should be getting to bed now. You wouldn't want to catch cold, now would you, dear?"

Chihiro smiled wanly. "If I'm going to, I already have. But I'll go anyway. I'm tired," she responded. It was pure, sweet relief to slip under the covers. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she thought idly that she had never slept in a better bed.

A sharp ray of sunlight stabbed into her eyes, wakening her. The light from the window was watery but still bright. And the sun was barely over the horizon. She hauled herself out of the softness of her bed, hissing as her feet hit the cold floor. She grabbed the yukata from the chair in the corner, pulling it on and tying the belt. Chihiro stretched luxuriously, her fingers nearly brushing the low ceiling of her room. Judging by the silence in the house, no one was awake yet.

Padding into the main room, Chihiro thought of the last night's events. A mutiny at the bathhouse....How could that have possibly happened? Yubaba had complete hold on her workers. Wait, Chihiro thought, how did she know that...and who was...Yubaba? The bathhouse, she assumed, must be the large one she'd seen in her remembrance yesterday. It had been so colorful, and the smell of herbal water and tea and flowers had drifted over her senses, enchanting her...that was when she'd first met Haku.

She reached for the tea kettle, and filled it from the tap, a clever pipe leading from the rain barrel on the roof. She heated the water on the stove, and spooned the right amount of tea leaves out of the jar. The water was just starting to simmer when she pulled it off the flame and poured the it into a tea kettle, dropping the leaves in as well.

Zeniba walked in through the same door Chihiro had come through, and Chihiro blinked. There was only one other door in her room, and that led to the other guest room, which only had the door connecting it to her room.....So how had Zeniba...?

"Good morning, dear," Zeniba greeted her.

Chihiro frowned. "I thought your door led to the guest rooms..." she mused aloud.

Zeniba winked. "It leads wherever I want it to. It's quite an easy spell, but not many people take advantage of that anymore, even sorceresses like my sister. The materials it requires can be quite hard to come by...."

The kettle began to whistle, and simultaneously the door blew open. A silvery bird flew in through the door and, settling on the back of a chair, opened it's beak and and began to speak with Haku's voice. His voice had an odd quality, like it was being replayed or he was speaking through a wall.

_"Zeniba, problems at the bathhouse. Can't spare workers. Send by train?"_

Zeniba tutted and shook her head. "Haku, you know as well as I that the train is unreliable. I don't think..." Her face brightened considerably. "Well, I'll send Chihiro with it. She'd ridden the train before, and it'll get her out of the house. I think— "

_"No!"_ the bird exclaimed. _"Not to the bathhouse. Not safe. Too much hate, too much fear. Too much danger."_

"Actually," said Chihiro obstinately, "I think it's a great idea. I need something to do."

The bird looked mutinous, but held it's silence. It took off, flying at great speed, and as it passed through a bright mote of sunlight she could see that the creature was naught but silver mist, an iridescent cloud in the shape of a bird.

"Well, dear, I suppose you should eat something before you go...?" Zeniba half-asked.

Chihiro shook her head. "No, I'm not really hungry. I'll just go." Zeniba sighed. "Ah well. Here's the salve, and _here_, is you ticket." She handed her a brown jar and a small fold of paper. "It's the—"

"Sixth stop," finished Chihiro. She started. "Wait, what? Where did that come from?"

Zeniba smiled warmly at her. "Well, dear, from you memory I expect. The bathhouse is indeed the sixth stop from here. Just make sure you board the train going West, not East, or you'll have to the whole way around, and from the sounds of things, Haku can't afford that time. They both run on the same track, so if you stand on the platform looking outwards, the train will be going to your right. Got that?"

"Um..." Chihiro paused, "Yes, I think so. Train goes right, West, and it's the sixth stop."

"Well then, you should get going. The next one will be here in twenty minutes, and you don't want to miss it," Zeniba stated, laying a hand on Chihiro's shoulder. "Should I expect you back for dinner, or...?"

Chihiro bit her lip. "I think I'll probably stay and help there...I know it'll make Haku angry, but I'll be of more use." Her jaw set. "Well, he'll just have to put up with it."

"Good girl. You'll fix him alright." Without explanation of this sentiment, Zeniba shooed her charge through and down the path, then waved to her as she rounded the bend on the path to the platform.

xXx

Chihiro stood back as the train cruised up to the platform, heading West. She walked up to the door when it opened, and gave her ticket over to the conductor. Soon she was settled against the cushions of the seats, and she found all the exploits of yesterday catching up with her. She dozed comfortably against the window, and an image come before her eyes. Haku, so concerned, but his face so calm, whispering to _be careful_....

_"Kaa-san!" She was running, tiny sneakered feet pounding , fear and heartbeats pounding. Right down the street, into the water..._

_ "Water!" she lept free of it, crying, "It's a dream, just a dream, I'm dreaming, dreaming....Wake up, wake up wake up. Disappear..." She looked at her hands, and they were... "I'm see through!?"_

_ And the boat...And she was running and then..._

_ "I want to help you...Here, eat this, or you'll disappear..." Haku, all warm and strong an distant and she knew him.... He broke the spell on her legs, pulled her along, held her, calmed her..._

_ "You'll have to get a job, or Yubaba will turn you into an animal. She's the witch who runs the bathhouse..."_

_ "Don't leave me!" _

_ "Find Kamaji the boiler man..."_

_ Another face, all sunglasses and mustache...."She's my granddaughter..." _

_ Now a woman, "A human! You're in big trouble, everyone's looking for you!"_

_ "I want a job! Please give me a job!"_

_ "Chihiro? What a nice name. It's mine now. From now on you are Sen. Answer me Sen!"_

_ "Haku....!"_

_ "Don't speak to me. And address me as Haku-_sama_."(1)_

_ "Are there two Haku's?"_

_ "Futari? _Two?_ I can barely stand one."_

_ "It's the new girl, she's not feeling very well..."_

_ "You've got the big tub, Lin!"_

_ "There's a thorn in his side!"_

_ "Well done Sen, you've made us so much money!"_

_ "Meet me by the bridge and I'll take you to your parents."_

_ "MOM, DAD, IT'S ME SEN! CAN YOU HEAR ME? DON'T GET TOO FAT OR THEY'LL EAT YOU!!!"_

_ "Here, eat them. I've put a spell on them, to give you back your strength."_

_ "Chihiro...that's my name , isn't it?"_

She jerked awake as a draft touched her face. The door had opened. This was the bathhouse stop. Chihiro jumped to her feet and ran off the train, bowing slightly to the conductor.

There was no sea now. Just grass. She walked along in the tracks after the train passed, closer to the bathhouse. There was the door to Kamaji's boiler room. That awful rickety stair case. As she neared the massive building, she could even make out the window she'd once seen a frog-spirit smoking out of.

It was a stretch to pull herself up onto the stairs, but she was taller now—it would have been impossible to do when she was ten...She climbed the stairs quickly, almost tripping a few times. Her hand paused on Kamaji's door's handle, but a quick look up at the staircase decided her. She slipped into the boiler room with no trouble.

It was all the same. Like no time had passed. He sat there, grinding herbs, the sootballs hauling coal. Tokens fell every now and then, usually soon followed by a quiet curse.

"Ojii-san?"(2) She called out quietly. At first it seemed like he had not heard her, but then his face turned towards her.

"Who are you, girl?"

"My name is Chihiro...Ogino Chihiro, Jii-san." She introduced herself. He took a drink from his kettle with one long arm, then another token come down and he cursed again. "I don't know any Ogino Chihiro," he said gravely, as he grabbed herbs from bins.

She blinked. "Oh...I see. No, you wouldn't. I apologize, Jii-san. You probably know me as Sen." The effect was instantaneous. He froze. "Sen-chan?"

Chihiro smiled, "Hai, Ojii-san. I died. But Zeniba sent me here with something for Haku." Kamaji smiled ruefully as he turned back to his herbs. "I suppose you died young then. How old are you now? Lon shot more than ten, by the looks of you."

"I'm seventeen, Jii-san."She bowed. "I must go find Haku. Do you know where he might be?"

Kamaji grunted. "No one knows where Kohaku is at any moment, least of all me, stuck down here. You'd best wait for Lin. She's the only one who can keep tabs on him these days. Meal time's soon. She should be here any min—"

The small door slammed open, revealing another young woman, who seemed barely older than Chihiro. She was wearing faded pink haori and hakama, with a white cloth tied over her face.

"Kamaji, don't I keep telling you to put out your dishes?" she scolded, handing him a bowl of rice with some unidentifiable meat. Chihiro hoped that it wasn't human.

"Yes, yes, Lin, you do. But here, have you met Chihiro?" he gestured to her, deliberately using her new name, or rather her old one, to confuse Lin.

"Chihiro? I don't know any Chi—Oh my god, Sen!"

Chihiro smiled. "Lin-san, it's good to see you."

Lin pulled herself back together and went to feed the sootballs. "What on earth are you doing here....I mean, you went back to the human world, right?"  
"Yes...well...I died." She shrugged. "I think I got hit by a truck....Any way, having lived here before for a while while I was alive meant that I stay...like this. A spirit, like all of you." She left the alternative unspoken. "I have to get this to Haku...Zeniba sent me with it, " she added, proffering the jar for Lin's inspection.

"This is the medicine Haku went to ask her for yesterday? Good." At Chihiro's surprise, she added, "Who do you think sent him on that errand. Haku isn't good at medicine, and he wouldn't know a tourniquet from a syringe if they bit him. Much less a special ointment made from rare plants." She sighed. "Still it'd be best to tell him you've arrived and the stuff is here..."

Chihiro pulled a face. "I don't think he has to know, necessarily." Lin grinned evilly in response. "Y'know, maybe you're right. He'll find out sooner or later, right? What's the harm?"

"You girls just live to see him squirm, don't you?" put in Kamaji through a mouthful of mystery meat and rice.

"Well, yeah," said Lin. Chihiro just smiled.

Thanks, Jii-san," Chihiro said, before bowing and crawling out the door. Lin followed shortly, and they walked to the elevator. Lin pulled the lever, and while waiting, she asked, "So really, how did you die?"

Chihiro shrugged, and the car came down. They stepped in. "I was on a date with my b....well, with my boyfriend, Kureno. We got hit by a truck. He died too, but I..." She shook her head.

"He faded. Right?" Lin asked. A mute nod confirmed her suspicions. "Well....Hey, does Haku know you had a boyfriend?"

Chihiro frowned, and they stepped out of the elevator as it slid to a halt. "Yeah, why?"

Lin smirked as she led Chihiro across a hallway to another elevator. "Well, I just thought his reaction might funny."

"Funny?"

"Yeah. Like, unusual and amusing." Lin threw her a backwards grin. "Like, jealous or something."

_"Why?"_ Chihiro asked.

Lin rolled her eyes. "Because he's practically in _love _with you, Sen. Has been since you first came here, or maybe even before..."

Chihiro froze. "What do you mean, _practically in love with me?_"

The smile on Lin's face slipped. "Sen-chan, you didn't see him after you left. I mean, he was a lot nicer and everything, but you could tell if he was in a room across the hall and down ten doors by the emo vibes. Then he started getting better, but I've never seen him even _look_ at one of the Yuna, even though he is both male and not very old. He'd relapse whenever anyone mentioned you, until we learned not to mention you at all. Then a few days ago he kinda got all stony and grave....I bet that's when you showed up, right?"

"Yeah...was it really that bad?" She bit her lip. The elevator stopped, and they climbed out. Chihiro had a sudden dizzy spell and tripped on her feet as she turned to Lin.

"Whoa, Sen, you're blushing and tripping. You seem to be in it as bad as he is." Lin commented cheekily as she steadied her friend. But when Chihiro didn't make a move to stand upright or walk again, concern creased her face. "Hey, Sen? Are you alright...?" She felt the younger girl's cheeks and forehead and her eyes widened. "No, you are not alright. You have a fever..."  
Chihiro laughed dryly. "I guess I should have known better....All that rain..."

Lin helped her down the corridor. Dimly, Chihiro recognized it as the place where Lin and the other cleaning girls slept. Lin slid open the shoji door with an elbow, then guided Chihiro inside.

Six people lay asleep on the tatami mats, even though it was time to be working. Three of them were Yuna, with two frogs and one tiny cleaning girl who didn't look a day older than eleven. Lin set the salve on the table before sitting Chihiro down. She threw her a blanket as well, which Chihiro wrapped around her shoulders. The room was fuzzy in her sight, but she blinked it more or less clear and watched as Lin took a rag and the salve an dabbed evil smelling muddy brown paste onto the tiny girl's forehead, a wound on the shoulder of one of the frogs, and a slash across the back of one Yuna, who was arranged uncomfortably on her front with her back open to the air. The Yuna groaned with pain as Lin dabbed, but bit her lip and fell back in to an uneasy rest.

"Sen, could you put that kettle on the burner? You need tea, and so will these six, when they wake up."

Chihiro tried to pick up the kettle and place it on the miniature charcoal hearth, but her hands trembled too much. Lin took the pot from her and placed it on the flames instead. She then proceeded to take a handful of herbs and drop them in another pot, for steeping, When the water hit boil, she silently poured it in to the teapot.

"You were out in the rain last night, then, were you?" she asked Chihiro.

"Yes," came a resigned voice from behind her, "She most certainly was. I thought I warned you to be careful, Chihiro."

"Haku!" Lin exclaimed. Chihiro tried to turn her head, but the world went fuzzy again, and she tilted over. Haku caught her just before her head hit the tatami mats. "Sorry..." she said muzzily. He sighed. His hands guided her upright again, and she swayed, but didn't fall again.

"Haku," said a quite different female voice, "Would you care to explain Chihiro's presence here?"

"Yubaba...?" Chihiro asked. "Indeed," responded the voice. She pried open a bleary eye to look at the witch.

She, unlike her sister, looked older then when Chihiro had lest set eyes on her. There were more lines on her face, and her skin looked papery and thin, with veins showing through in some places. Her eyes seemed cloudy, a layer of mist over her iris and pupil. The features on her face drooped, looked wilted. But there was still a mean spark left in her expression.

"Why are you here?" Yubaba demanded of Chihiro. Haku narrowed his eyes at her, and moved as if to block Chihiro from her line of sight. "She died," he stated simply, as if nothing could be more obvious.

"Then why is she still _here_?" Yubaba practically snorted. This time, Chihiro spoke for herself. "I ate food here. You hired me. I'm stuck like this now." She injected venom into her words, but Yubaba didn't seem to notice. The witch forged on: "Haku, explain. Why is this girl, whom I told to _leave and never return_, sitting here, in my bathhouse, apparently completely within your knowledge. _What on earth do you think you are doing?_"

He stared at her with cold eyes. "She can't help being dead."

"But you knew she was here! You knew! This could ruin everything, you insolent—!"

"Yubaba-sama! This is a sickroom, and Sen is sick. Please continue your argument elsewhere!" Lin commanded. As she spoke, she poured the tea into seven of ten small teacups which resembled sake cups. Practically forcing one into Chihiro's hand, she made the girl drink the bitter liquid.

"Lin is right," said Haku after a pause, "This isn't the right place to be having this discussion. However, you must agree to allow Chihiro to stay, or I will not leave this room. Without an oath, I cannot trust you not to exact revenge against someone who is blameless." Yubaba swelled with anger, but a sharp glare from Haku, and a corroborating nod fro Lin forced her hand.

"_Fine._ She may stay. But one word of complaint about her, and she leaves. One moment of inconvenience caused by her, and she's out. You have my...my oath." The last word was spat out like a foul taste. Haku nodded sagely, and knelt at Chihiro's side, even as Yubaba swept from the room.

"You must be careful. Even I cannot truly shield you from her," he told her gently, then stood and left, the door closing behind him with a snap. Chihiro sat shivering as Lin pulled out spare bedding for herself and Chihiro, spreading the futon on the floor.

"Sen," Lin called her gently. "You should get to sleep. Your fever will be better in the morning."

"What about you?" Chihiro yawned in response. Lin smiled. "Oh, I'll get to bed soon enough." Even as she answered the younger girl's question, Chihiro was crawling into her futon, and as Lin's voice said, "Goodnight," her eyes were already closed.

xXx

Parting Comments: I DID IT!!! I WROTE THE DAMN THING!

I'm very sorry about that wait. My computer died, and I had a fun time saving all my files and stuff, so I've only recently had time even to _think _of writing. And I have crap-loads of homework. So yeah.

Note: updates should take less time from here on out, because I finally finished writing our my plot summary. There should be fifteen chapters by the end, including the Epilogue. Just so you know…

Anyway, reviews are nice…for the most part.

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


	4. The Iris

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

xxxXxxx

xxXxx

xXx

Disclaimer to be found on Page 1

Will upload character profiles, including Ayameko's, to my dA account shortly.

Chapter 4: The Iris

Chihiro woke to the oddly familiar warmth of sleeping near many other bodies. When she lifted her head, she discovered that while she slept, other Yuna had entered the room to sleep. It was a slight comfort, and she stretched carefully. Finally, the fog of sleep rubbed from her eyes, she stood and carefully left the room to sit on the balcony outside. Her fingers idly traced a dark stain in the wood, and a tiny flash of memory stirred through her.

_"Haku! Fight `em!"_

_ "Its okay, the paper things are gone now…"_

_ A snarl, fear, fear, blood, fear…._

She opened her eyes again and sighed. "I'll never get used to this…." she murmured to herself. She let her forehead rest against the wood of the rail and looked out at the view. A pristine sky, a deep, rich blue, not a cloud to be seen, stretched over a field of swaying grass. Every blade of it shimmered like an emerald, and as a soft breeze blew, it rippled like a vast green sea. It was…

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Chihiro jumped at the voice, turning to meet the gaze of a very pretty girl. "I'm Ayameko. I'm afraid I don't who you are…?" The girl, Ayameko, had long, wavy hair that fell to her hips, a distinctive shade of purple. Her skin was oddly pale, and large, lash rimmed eyes were set in her face like two sapphires. Just looking at her made Chihiro feel intimidated.

Chihiro smiled in return, and said, "I'm Chihiro…You work here?"

"Yes," Ayameko laughed, "Though sometimes I regret it. Are you a new worker?"  
"I…I don't know," responded Chihiro. "I used to work here. Not for very long, and I was little. You were allowed to keep your name?"

Ayameko's face stayed cheerful, though her eyes grew darker. "Well, sort of. I used to be just Aya, but I…I found my old name. Now I'm Ayameko, but she still has my contract, so I still work here." She smiled a little ruefully. "It's not that bad, actually. Not now I have my name."

"I know. When I worked here I was Sen. When Kohaku gave me my real name back…it was so freeing. I could actually do what I wanted…and I remembered my parents. I would have forgotten them totally if Haku hadn't saved me…." She broke off in thought…_if Haku hadn't saved me…_

"Haku? He saved you once? That seems like something any girl would want. I mean," she continued to gush, "he's very good-looking. But he never looks at any girl here."

"No, Lin said that too. She actually said she thought it was because I left, but I don't believe that at all," Chihiro said, and they both fell into a comfortable silence.

The sound of footsteps soon broke the girl's reverie, and they both looked up to see the very same man of whom they had just spoken.

"Chihiro," he said quietly. "Are you alright to be up and wandering around? You fainted less than twelve hours ago, and Lin said you were running quite the fever."

"I'm alright. I guess all I needed was some rest, plus she gave me some tea that was supposed to help with fever…" Chihiro examined his face for any sign of the regard that Lin insisted was there. When she had decided that there was no romantic anything as far as she could tell, she spoke again, "I'll be back on my feet in no time."

"Be careful though," he warned. "Yubaba will take any chance to kick you out, so stay with Lin if at all possible."

"I think I can manage that. Thanks anyway," she responded. He gave her a searching look, then turned to Ayameko.

"Good morning," he said quite calmly, and bowed.

"Morning, Kohaku-san!" Ayameko replied cheerily. He then turned and walked away, shooting parting words at Chihiro. "I'll see you later."

When he was out of sight, Ayameko turned to Chihiro. "Lin was right."

Chihiro started and looked at her sharply. "What does that mean, 'Lin was right'?"

Aya chuckled a little, and said, "I mean, she was right about why he doesn't look at other girls. And you're as bad as he is!"

"What are you talking about?"

Her explanation was coupled with a slight role of her huge blue eyes. "He's totally in love with you, Chihiro."

At this Chihiro turned completely red, and Ayameko began to laugh quietly. "Denial," she finally said. "You're both in denial. I'll let you stay there, I guess."

They fell silent for a bit, then Aya broke it suddenly. "Hey, can I call you Chi?"

"Only if I can call you Aya," Chihiro responded.

Ayameko grinned cheekily. "Of course you can, Chi-chan."

"Thank you, Aya-chan."

Soon Yuna began to filter out of the sleeping room behind them. Aya sighed. "Well, Chi-chan, I'd better get going. Don't want Yubaba on my tail."

"That would suck," Chihiro agreed. As Aya stood, she spoke once more to Chihiro. "Why don't you consider rejoining the ranks? I'm sure you'd get to keep your name, and then Yubaba couldn't possibly throw you out! Anyway, see ya!"

"See you, Aya-chan!" Chihiro called to her as she walked away.

Lin poked her head through the door. "Hey, you've been making friends, Sen!"

"Yeah," Chihiro laughed. "I guess. She seems to agree with you on the Haku front…He was walking by earlier, when we were talking."

"Hahaha! Another point for Lin!" Lin crowed, but then became serious. "So, Sen, _are_ you going to rejoin the rest of us little slaves?"

Chihiro took a deep breath. "Well, it's definitely an idea…Haku won't be thrilled about it, though, and I don't quite think Aya-chan was right when she said I'd get to keep my name…"

"Well, Kohaku can just go whistle. You can do whatever you want to, and besides, there's a whole bunch of us that know your real name, even if we don't all use it," Lin pointed out. "She'd have loads of fun trying to get us all to forget. Especially your dear dragon."

"Don't," Chihiro groaned.

"Whatever. Anyway, you sure made friends with Aya quickly. She doesn't usually speak to anyone past work stuff. She had a thing for Kohaku once, but he pretty much ignored her, like every other girl who tries." Lin shrugged. "I guess that's cool. I mean, you don't really know a lot of us, and that girl doesn't really have friends in the rest of the staff. Apparently she managed to find her own name, so a lot of us are jealous."

"I guess that makes sense," Chihiro replied slowly. "And you're right about the job. I think I'll try today. But I should probably talk to Haku about it first."

Lin smiled at her. "Aya was right. You're both in denial. Besides, you know he'll just blow a gasket."

"Yes, well," Chihiro sighed. "It doesn't feel right to hide stuff from him."

"Do whatever, Sen-chan, it's your choice. But right now I need your help with one of the patients."

xXx

A few hours and some nasty bandages later, Chihiro was again sitting on the balcony, with nothing better to do while the patients slept and Lin relaxed for the first time since breakfast. She remembered Haku's promise to see her later, and wondered when he might have time. Sadly, she mused that he was probably just saying that to be polite. As solo liaison between Yubaba and the rest of the bathhouse, he probably had far too much to be doing in his spare time to be spending much of it with her. Just that thought made Chihiro feel guilty for sitting around the way she was, doing nothing. But she had to talk to him first, before she went to Yubaba. No matter what Lin said, Haku's trust was not something she felt she could betray. And going back to her job at the bathhouse, after all he had done to let her go free, and without even speaking to him about it, seemed like a horrible betrayal of his trust. She couldn't even bring herself to think of the look that would appear on the man's face at learning she had gone back to the near-enslavement of bathhouse work. No, she vehemently decided. She would speak to him about it.

No sooner had she formed this resolution, than the object of it appeared. Quite soundlessly, Haku seemed to materialize at her shoulder. One white, spidery hand touched her shoulder, and drew back sharply as she screamed in surprise at the touch.

Looking around frantically, she quickly identified Haku as her assailant and calmed.

When he was quite sure of her temperament, he spoke, "I was wondering if you…might like to go for a walk with me…" He left the invitation hanging open, and Chihiro thought for a moment before deciding that this was just the kind of interaction she would need to launch a conversation about her going back to work at the bathhouse.

"Sure," she replied with a smile. She took the hand he held out to her and let him pull her up. Idly, she noticed that his hand was lightly calloused, and dry. As soon as she was standing on her own two feet, he let go of her hand, dropping it like it had burned him. She shot him a puzzled look, but he was gazing out at the landscape.

After a moment he turned to her and said, "Come."

She followed him out of the bathhouse towards the gardens. The flowers were large and fragrant, and again, it seemed like the bushes were peeling open for them alone, then closing behind them as they passed. Finally, they reached a sort of clearing, which sealed itself after them. In this circular clearing, the foliage was dark, and Chihiro could see the leaves were almost waxy. Tiny white flowers dotted the walls, and their petals were so delicate one ripped under her touch. Their white transparency almost glittered from a distance, so the whole place looked like it was surrounded in dark emerald velvet scattered with tiny diamonds.

"It's beautiful here," she breathed. Haku had moved to sit against one of the bushes, but smiled when she spoke.

"Yeah…I found it a while ago. Just after you left, actually." He patted the ground next to him. "Sit?"

Chihiro smiled at Haku, and moved to sit next to him. For a moment, they sat in silence.

"Hey…Haku?" He turned to look at her.

"Yes?"

Chihiro took a deep breath and let it out before saying, as calmly as possible, "Haku…I've been thinking…" She met his eyes, and quickly looked away, focusing on his chin. "I think I should get a job here. You know. Again."

She closed her eyes as she heard his sharp intake of breath. However, the storm she was braced for didn't come right away.

After a long moment, he said, quiet and venomous, "Are you _insane_?"

Chihiro laughed a little. "Maybe. I just don't want to be hanging around like a dead goose. I want to…do something."

"You feel like a burden?"

"Mm. That's it." Chihiro gave him an imploring look. "You understand, right?"

Haku exhaled, then responded. "I suppose…but your name, Chihiro. She'd take it again." He reached out and took her hand, running a quick swipe over the back with his thumb before turning it over to look at her palm. "I don't think…I could watch that ever again."

Chihiro placed her other hand over his, and he closed his eyes. Something in her twinged as she thought of times she'd comforted Kureno the same way. But this is totally platonic, she mentally insisted.

"How do you know she'd take my name? You'd still know it, Zeniba would, Lin and Kamaji. She wouldn't be able to keep it for long," she murmured. "I trust you to keep my name, Haku."

"I…" He squeezed her hands for a moment before extricating his own. "I don't know how wise that is…"

"Well, you can't change it. I trust you. And I doubt Granny would let Yubaba get away with it for long, if she did try to take my name," Chihiro said soothingly.

Haku sighed and looked up at the sky, gauging the position of the sun. "You might want to speak to Yubaba now. I'll walk you, then I have a meeting with the heads of staff." He stood to wait for Chihiro, then lead her back out of the garden in silence.

xXx

Chihiro exchanged a quick glance with Haku before entering Yubaba's office. They had agreed that he would have as little hand in her contract as possible, something Chihiro was adamant on. For some reason, she felt that she was deep in his debt, and simply mused that it was part of her time in the Spirit World, and she could not remember it yet.

Yubaba was sitting at her desk, counting various valuable objects and writing down figures. A quick throat clearing brought her bulbous eyes upon Chihiro, and she glared for a moment before asking, "Why, _exactly_, are you here?"

"I want a job," Chihiro proclaimed. Yubaba's eyes bugged, and she responded, "And why do you think I will give you one?"

"Because you have no choice?" Chihiro suggested. "You took some kind of oath, right? Also, you have six fewer workers than normal, _and_ you have almost a third of the staff working on repairs and stuff like that. You _need_ me."

Internally, Chihiro began giggling maniacally. Yubaba now appeared flustered, but she knew the witch wouldn't be able to refuse.

"Fine, you lazy rat. Sign the contract." Yubaba waved her hand and the pen and paper flew over to Chihiro. Instead of simply signing the paper, Chihiro read the whole thing through. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I don't like this bit in the contract, the bit where you get my name."

Yubaba's eyes bulged with anger again, and she snarled, "Well, then. No job for you. Take it or leave it!"

"But it says right _here_ that the terms of the contract are negotiable. Doesn't that mean I can change them?" she asked innocently.

"I-I…well, yes."

"Alright then! I'll just change this…and here…." Chihiro took the pen and wrote the new terms in on the contract after inking out the original terms that she hadn't liked, specifically that she had to give up her name, and that she couldn't quit, only be fired. With a glowing sense of pride for overpowering the witch mentally, she quickly re-read the contract to make sure she hadn't missed something important. When she was satisfied, she signed her name, _Ogino Chihiro_, at the bottom of the page and blew on the ink.

"Here you go!" she said cheerfully, handing the contract back to Yubaba. The witch ground her teeth, but took the paper anyway. "You will be working your old position. Go to Lin."

Chihiro bowed and Yubaba snapped, "Now!"

"Thanks, Granny!" Chihiro called as she ran from the room.

Kohaku was nowhere to be found, and Chihiro remembered that he had a meeting with the heads of staff. She smiled to herself, aglow in the feeling of a job well done, and pulled the lever for the elevator.

xXx

"Sen-chan! Sen! D'you get the job?" Lin greeted her excitedly. Chihiro laughed at her friend's antics before replying in the positive.

"Of course, I knew you would. And I suppose Haku agreed," she mused.

"Actually, he was a lot more cooperative than I thought he'd be…" Chihiro responded. She watched the sky for a moment. Huge roiling rainclouds were massing on the horizon. "It looks like there'll be a lot of rain…"

Lin flopped down next to her to watch the darkening sky. "Yeah…it _is _the rainy season, so that makes sense. I'm just surprised the rain right before you showed didn't flood…"

"Luck, I guess…" The pair watched in silence as the suns light left the sky and the moon rose above the clouds. The stars shone weakly through the thick cloud cover. After a long while, a light rain began to fall.

"Might want to think about coming in, you two!" a Yuna called from inside the room, where the girls were beginning to roll out futons and climb into them.

Lin stretched luxuriously and stood. "C'mon Sen. Don't want to get you sick again, right?"

"No…" Chihiro agreed. She allowed Lin to pull her up and together they made their way inside. Chihiro rolled out her futon where it had been the night before, and slipped inside, falling into the warmth and closing her eyes. She fell quickly into sleep, and soon the whole room was filled with softly breathing, unconscious bodies.

xXx

Parting Comments: Well, then. I'm sorry about this taking so long, but its semester one finals time, so my brain is behaving like a wrung sponge.

So, what'd y'all think? I promise, the next one will be sooner.

Next chapter title: The Dragon.

Watch out for it! Also, I found this amazing web comic while I was supposed to be writing this (guilt). It's called Haru-Sari, and can be found Haru – Sari . com, minus the spaces. I also discovered MuggleCast. And beat three (count `em, THREE!) dungeons in Ocarina of Time. Currently I am in the Water Temple.

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


	5. The Dragon

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

xxxXxxx

xxXxx

xXx

Disclaimer on Page 1.

The profiles are taking forever due to program butt-ness.

Chapter 5: The Dragon

The day dawned dark, gloomy, and generally rainy. A thick mist obscured the grand view the bathhouse normally gave, and the huge fields were all flooded a few feet deep. Chihiro sighed as she sat back on her heels, wiping strands of sweat-soaked hair off her face with the back of her wrist, before squeezing out the rag in her hand and dipping it in the bucket of clean, soapy water. A few other girls were also in the room, all taking a quick break before returning to scrubbing the floor of the vast room.

They'd been working at for hours, scrubbing the slime of one very nasty Slug spirit from the normally gleaming burnished wood. Chihiro looked down in dismay at her uniform pants—even pulled up above the knee, they hadn't been able to avoid the thick, transparent goo that covered the floor. The slime was coating her skin as well, and she rejoiced a little that Haku had said the girls who had to clean this room could use one of the small baths that evening to get cleaned up. Her arms throbbed with the effort of driving the rag across the floor, and her back ached as well.

"Alright, back to work, everyone," Lin called from across the room. Chihiro groaned in unison with a Yuna standing near her, Ana, and they grinned at one another. Slowly, each of the girls got back down on her knees and began scrubbing at her patch of floor. They chatted amiably as they tried to wipe away the viscous liquid plastered to the wood, and altogether, Chihiro reflected, it wasn't all that bad.

Without warning, the door slid open with a snap, causing all the cleaning girls to look up. The newcomer was Ayameko, and she was dragging two buckets full of hot, soapy water, with a sack of rags over her shoulder.

"I got sent to you all here," she offered, setting down her buckets, which slopped a little water onto the floor. "I'm supposed to be helping."

Chihiro grinned at her friend. She was so awkward sometimes... "Come on, Aya-chan! We could all use a hand. There's a patch over there that needs seeing to, yes?"

Aya grinned back. "Yeah, I hear ya, Chi-chan." She lugged one bucket over to her allotted space and got down to scrub, cheerfully sinking up to her shins in slime. "Wish the spirits would clean up after themselves, right?"

"Don't we all?" Chihiro groaned. She watched her friend tie her hair back, wrapping it around in a knot and securing it with a pair of chopsticks. Aya looked a little strange in the uniform, it's pink color clashing with her dark violet hair, making her look pallid and tired. Then she turned huge blue eyes to Chihiro and smiled. Chihiro found herself smiling back almost instinctively, but looked back down to her work.

After a few more moments, she cried out happily. The rag had finally gotten through the last inch or so of slime, leaving her with the first clean-ish patch in her section. She moved to keep on scrubbing, the end now in sight, but caught sight of the rag and wrinkled her nose. The rag was now dripping suds and slime, and the cloth was starting to fray at the edge.

"Here ya go, Chi-chan," Aya said, and passed her a fresh rag from the sack. "Thanks," Chihiro returned fervently, and began to scrub again.

Her back was beginning to really hurt now, but she wrinkled her nose, and regulated her breathing, smiling a little as the slime disappeared millimeter by millimeter. The talking died down as each girl began to work in earnest, having seen the light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, the floor at the end of the slime.

The silence was comforting to Chihiro, and she allowed the soft sounds of cleaning and breathing to wash over her, feeling as though the only thing particularly wrong with the world was the five or so inches of slime in one corner of her patch of floor.

Her thoughts turned idly to Haku. With her now technically in his employ, Chihiro had thought that the closeness between them would wain, maybe even deteriorate completely, but too her immense relief, it had not. He wasn't even acting particularly worried or distant towards her any more, as if knowing that she would be safer working in the bathhouse than simply freeloading there. That was actually true, Chihiro noted. Yubaba couldn't exactly harm her now, as her own worker, and because of the services rendered to the bathhouse, she was also more or less safe from other gods and spirits. It was apparently something to do with a set of rules and a hierarchy set down by someone called "the Creator" that all the spirits worshiped. From what Chihiro could tell, it was sort of like following the Western religion of Christianity, except most of the practices were Buddhist-ish. Lin had taken a few moments to explain the basis of the religion to her on one of the holy days.

The Creator, Lin had told her, was, as it sounded, the being that created the worlds. It appeared a few times right after the world was created, and it appeared as a woman. One of the rules given was that for service in the Spirit World there was a debt owed by the employer, which included support and protection.

There was actually an ancient legend pertaining to the creation of the world. Aya had told Chihiro that one, and told it so well that Chihiro found herself believing it.

In the beginning, there was the Creator, then known as the Goddess, because she (or rather it), had not created the world yet. She had a husband, a consort, and he was known as Nothingness, and together they had ten children. The eldest four, when they grew to an age, were given by their mother a place to live in. This place was the world, and they were given power over, respectively, the earth, the water, the air, and the rock. They became the first gods and goddesses. The fifth and sixth eldest were very different from each other. The fifth was very strong, and immensely cheerful, seeming to radiate light, while the sixth was sickly, her health waxing and waning, but very beautiful, and they detested each other. They were given, when they reached the age, the sun and moon, and because they hated each other, a compromise was reached that each would only come out at certain times. The sun's time was full of light, and the moon's very dark, but both had their own beauty.

The youngest four were much younger than their older siblings, and grew wildly jealous of them as they saw their world grow more and more beautiful and full of life as the brothers and sisters had more children of their own who became spirits of their own. The children of Water and Earth were the living things, the plants and small creatures, and the large creatures who existed in a proud, pure state of mind. The children of Air and Stone became the Wind, the Fire, the rocks and rivers. One day the eldest of the youngest four said to his brother and sisters, "Why should they have all this? We are just as deserving, if younger. We shall ask our mother to create us a world just as beautiful and rich."

When the children asked her, though, she told them that they were not old enough. The four were still jealous, but they loved their siblings, except for one, the very youngest. He hatched a plan and told his fellow young ones about it, and they decided—they would steal Sun and Moon from the sky of the world and kill them, for they were the closest to their ages and the younger ones were most affronted by their mother's privilege of _them._

When the time came, they traveled to their brother's and sister's world and pretended to greet them joyfully, and when the time came that night, two stole up into the heavens to steal Moon. But Air had stayed up to speak with her sister that night, and she felt the two in her domain and knew their plan. She caught them in a strong wind devised by her son, Wind, and took all the air away from them. As gods, they didn't need to breathe, but the spell trapped them. The next morning, the other two, who had slept all night in Earth's house went to catch Sun, but Air had told her sister Water to warn her husband, and Earth trapped them in a tomb of dirt.

Their mother had come to take her youngest home, but found instead that they had abused their sibling's hospitality and tried to kill their own brother and sister. The Goddess became terribly angry and her screams of rage shook the whole world. The power of her cries drove the spirits and gods away from their places in the world, but they could not leave their places without pain and began to die. Their mother created the Spirit Realm, or Aburaya, to allow them to live, as they couldn't yet return. But the mother was still terribly angry at her four youngest children, and devised an awful punishment for them.

She told them, "You have committed terrible crimes, the likes of which have never been known. You did it out of greed of this world, and so you shall be punished by getting what you wanted."

The children didn't know how that could be a punishment, and rejoiced.

Their mother asked them, "You can repent, and be spared, or you will receive your punishment."

All of the children chose to accept their punishment, and their mother told them that in the dawn of the next day, they would be sent down to the world.

Just before sunrise the next day, she came to them and said, "Now you will be punished. You will become living things that can also die. You will depend on your brothers and sisters, and you will respect them all, while living at their mercy and the mercy of their children. When you die, you shall become a shadow in Aburaya, living apart from your siblings." Then Sun came up and took them down into the world, where they felt terrible pain and found that they could no longer change shape, nor could they heal when they injured themselves. Their fear and pain drove them mad, and soon they became little more than beasts.

Over time, their sanity returned, but their memories of divinity did not, and they lived on, as humans, watched over by their siblings. They bred and died and bred and died until there were many, and the Creator looked down on this world and cried for her children. She created the stars with her tears, and then left the world completely, withdrawing past the barrier her husband, Nothingness, maintained around the world, forever.

Chihiro personally had practiced Shinto as a human, despite her parents being Christian, because of Chihiro's European grandmother. She could see the parallels in the story, and admitted that it sounded true. Reflecting, she decided that if she could only compare the story to her time in the Spirit World as a child, she might be able to form a better opinion. So far she could only remember up until her parents transformation.

"I wonder...why," she whispered to herself. Her knees were rubbed raw now, from kneeling on the floor to clean, and she sat back on her heels for a moment, observing the room at large.

Lin was scowling at another newer worker and correcting her movements to gain maximum cleaning capacity. Ana was carefully washing off her rag in her bucket of water, while Ayameko was scooping up slime with her bare hands to try and make the scrubbing easier. Nobody much was talking, and Chihiro observed her section. There was only a small patch of slime left, and a few passes with a rag removed that.

She carefully took her two buckets of soapy water, one clean, on dirty, and dumped them into the back courtyard. Other girls looked at her enviously as she began to tidy up and leave the room.

"Sen-chan, you're done?" Lin asked.

Chihiro smiled. "Yeah, lucky me. You have fun, now!" She gestured at Lin's own, still thoroughly besmirched patch. Lin stuck out her tongue at her, and Chihiro waved at her cheerfully as she exited.

After placing her ruined rags in the chute that lead to the furnace and stashing the buckets in a closet, Chihiro stretched and walked to the bath the girls had been allotted to use that day. The room was private, so Chihiro happily peeled off her soiled uniform and left it in a pile on the floor, making for the hot water like there was a fire-breathing dragon on her tail.

As she sank into the water, drifting in the blissful sensation of her muscles being heated and relaxed, another girl entered the room and also removed a soiled uniform, sliding into the bath across from Chihiro.

"Hey," Aya greeted her, letting down her long hair and dunking her head in the water.

Chihiro's only reply was a muffled "Mmph," and Aya shrugged and turned away to reach for a cloth to wash herself with.

Again, Chihiro settled back against the wall. She sighed and thought. It really practically saintly of Haku to allow them the use of this bath.

Haku....she wasn't quite sure how things stood with him. He was always kind, spoke to her with politeness and sometimes humor, was occasionally protective, and his mood changed often and sometimes violently, although he had never actually become physically violent around her. He made a point of speaking to her alone at least for five minutes every day, often seeking her out during her lunch break. His presence was comforting, and had been of great aid to her as she acclimated over the past weeks.

Her mind was reaching a sort of calm, and she decided to try remembering again. She thought of reaching out in darkness to grasp an invisible object. The object made contact with her fingers, and she could was plunged back into her sea of memories.

_Chihiro was working, cleaning out the big tub, and the awful stinking slime spirit was drawing closer. _

_ She was told to serve him. She pulled the thorn, got the medicine, and Yubaba hugged her._

_ "Sen, you did great, we made so much money!"_

_ "It looks like a sea"_

_ "Of course, what would you expect with all that rain..."_

_ "Sen, come and get some gold!"_

_ "Haku! Fight em!"  
"It's okay, those paper things are gone now."_

_ "It's called love."_

_ "You never really forget anything, even if you can't remember."_

_ "Here, it's a protection spell full of your friend's love."_

_ "Haku!"_

_ "Bye Granny!"  
"You're the Kohaku River!"_

_ She felt the scales shedding beneath her, and—_

Chihiro jerked awake at a touch on her shoulder. Ayameko was kneeling by her side, wrapped in a towel and looking concerned.

"You don't want to pass out in the bath, Chi-chan. It can be dangerous," she warned.

"Oh...right."

Chihiro grabbed a cloth and began wiping off her body, giving her hair a quick rinse, and climbed out of the bath. Aya handed her a towel, and just as she was pulling on the yukata she'd brought down, Lin and three others entered the room.

"Ah, Sen, you're flushed," Lin noticed, "Do you have a fever?"  
"She fainted in the bath," Aya told her.

"Aah? Sen, you should go up." Lin turned to Ayameko. "I know you sleep in another section, but can you make sure she gets up to the room?"

"Sure," Aya agreed.

As the two girls made their way down to the area where Chihiro's sleeping quarters were, Chihiro felt a huge wave of tiredness overcome her. She slumped against the wall, and Ayameko cried out.

"Chi-chan!" The words seemed very distant to Chihiro, but also very loud. She couldn't explain her sudden and unpleasant downturn in energy, except that it felt like someone had attached two leeches to her lower back, one on each side of her spine, and they were sucking out her energy.

The next real sensation she knew was a pair of thin, long hands grasping her shoulders and pulling her upright. Her eyes opened a little, and she could blearily identify that the person holding her was Haku. A surge of relief filtered through to her limbs, and her eyelids drooped closed again. She distantly felt herself being juggled from arm to arm, and heard Haku cursing quietly while Aya asked questions. He muttered a word she couldn't hear properly, and the leeching feeling lifted, leaving her nonetheless, very tired.

"H-Haku?" she tried to ask, but her voice cracked a little and she couldn't get both syllables out.

"Chihiro. You fainted."

She opened her eyes and nodded a little, not trusting her voice.

"She fainted in the bath as well," Aya supplied.

"Not...faint. Just fell...asleep," Chihiro managed. The act of talking took a will of effort, but she felt some of her energy return to her.

"You look like death," Haku informed her, and she frowned a little.

"Chi-chan?" Ayameko asked her. "Can you walk?"

"I doubt it," Haku replied for her, still watching her face intently. "Somehow there was a curse on her, the kind that's supposed to make people feel tired by leeching their life force."

"That's...what it felt...like," Chihiro said, unable to say the entire sentence without pausing for breath.

"But why would anyone curse Chihiro?" Ayameko wondered aloud.

"Jealousy, maybe, or a grudge. The people here aren't all good. They aren't even mostly good," said Haku. "In fact, one could honestly say that the people here are mostly bad."

He lifted Chihiro's shoulders with one arm, and placed the other under her legs, so he was carrying her.

"I'll take her back to her quarters, Ayameko-san," he said. "You should go to yours. It's late."

He set off down the corridor, leaving Aya standing alone. Chihiro let him walk in silence for a few moments before asking him quietly, "You don't like Aya-chan, do you?"

Again, it was a moment before he responded. "No, I don't. She feels like...a threat."

"A threat?"

He shrugged. "She's sort of...she seems hostile, actually. I'd watch her, if I were you. She might even have put the curse on you."

"Aya? How would she do that? I don't think she can do magic, Haku."

"Maybe, maybe not, but I'll tell you this; no one knows exactly how she got her name back, but it's not possible to just 'find' it. You have to steal or be given it. I should know," he stated, "I tried to dislodge it a few times after I got my name back."

"Ah...So you think...?" Chihiro trailed off.

"She might have used magic. Or she might have taken a precaution, planted a sign for herself or something."

"Oh."

They had reached the door. Haku slid back the paper screen, and his hand paused briefly over a dark stain on the wood.

"That's your blood, isn't it?" Chihiro asked. He glanced at her quickly, almost as though he had been shocked, and nodded once.

"After all this time, it's still there..." she shook her head incredulously.

"Oh, there are plenty of reminders of your time here. The floor by the baths is still all scratched up from the debris from that river god...and people still find little fragments of gold in the cracks."

"Really?" She giggled a little in his arms. Smiling at her, he stepped over the threshold and set her down, moving over to the cabinet to pull out her bedding.

"Mine's the purple one with the green, " she informed him. After a moment of digging, he pulled it out and unfolded it.

"I can get there on my own," Chihiro told him as he moved to pick her up again. She pulled herself unsteadily to her feet and stumbled over to her bed.

Haku waited for her to get comfortable before kneeling and pressing a swift kiss to her forehead. "Goodnight, Chihiro," he said quietly.

"Night," she replied muzzily.

As he left the room, she lifted a hand to her forehead and felt the place where he'd kissed her. The spot was still tingling from his lips.

That was odd, she thought. Usually only Kureno made her feel like that.

She fell asleep still pondering this fact.

xXx

Parting Comments: We have the first signs of love on Chihiro's side! W00t!!

See, I promised this update wouldn't take as long! (At least, I think it didn't...no the last was like, five months, this was only three).

I really had a hard time starting this, because I felt like it was filler....But it turned out okayish. I think...Opinions, please?

Hugs and Kisses,

Eden


	6. The Heartsick

Let me just preface this by saying, oh my god I am so sorry. I have always been a procrastinator and a flouter of deadlines. But JESUS do I deserve to be slapped around the head! Last time I updated was two years ago! Gah! I know from experience how frustrating this can be, to have a story you follow getting pushed to the back burner while weeks, months, years pass. It sucks. I stand guilty as charged, an I apologize. Heartily.

Xx Of Memories and Misery xX

xxxXxxx

xxXxx

xXx

Disclaimer on page 1.

Chapter 6: The Heartsick

Chihiro sighed as she looked out over the familiar view of flooded fields. Try as she might, she couldn't seem to sleep well these days, so here she sat, as she had for the last eleven mornings, leant against the rail of the balcony and staring out over the sea.

She'd had another nightmare again last night, about Kureno. They were happening more frequently now, or she was remembering more of them. Last night, he'd been drowning in a pool of shadow, screaming for her, and just as she'd grabbed his hand, the scene had changed. She was standing in a dark corridor, in the only patch of light, and his voice had still been calling, but distantly. Then a skeleton had fallen out of the shadows and into her arms, before disinigrating with a clatter.

That clattering noise had been what woke her, sweating and scared in her futon. She'd been out here ever since.

Chihiro shrugged her stiff shoulders and sighed, letting herself fall backwards.

She was caught by one long, thin hand, and she stifled a scream.

"You should be more careful," said a familiar voice. "You could have hit your head."

"I would have been fine, Haku," she said crossly, turning to look at him. "You're so protective. It's sweet sometimes, but right now...?

"Times like these, you remind me of Kureno," she went on, giving him an evil look as she laid back on the boards again, this time easing herself down on her elbows. "He was really protective too. Always afraid I'd hurt myself...Always catching me when I fell."

His brows had drawn tight together, and he watched her seriously.

"I miss him," she confessed. "More and more every day. And when you act like he did...You're both so giving. So caring and strong, so you never like people to see that you're weak as well. Just being around you is painful, sometimes." Her eyes had closed at some point, and now tears were trickling out against her will.

Haku sat down next to her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. He sounded odd, like a kicked puppy, and Chihiro found herself smiling at him.

"I've said it before, s'not your fault. If you insist on blaming yourself I'll have to pitch you out into the water headfirst." Chihiro made a lazy gesture outwards. Haku grinned at her, and made a bit of a show of moving back from her. She snorted, but a glowy little feeling opened up in her chest.

Haku _was_ so like Kureno, she mused as they settled back into their comfortable silence. He was all stoic until he was alone with the people he trusted, and then he revealed how amazing he could truly be. Haku would never have pretended to fear her if he'd thought anyone was looking.

But Kureno had also liked to be outrageous sometimes, just for the hell of it, and Haku would never behave like that. Once, back in the early days, Kureno had carried her on his back while he ran the length of the park, her screaming all the way. Eventually they'd just wandered around like that, and he'd laugh as she leant forward to steal kisses over his shoulder, both of them ignoring the scandalized looks from older people, and the titters of the children.

That had been a beautiful day. Chihiro sighed and yawned, then sat up,

"Hi," she greeted Haku sleepily.

"Hello," he returned, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Why are you up so early, anyway," he asked after a while.

"Oh," Chihiro sighed. "Can't sleep. Nightmares."

"Him?"

"Yes."

"I'm s—"

"I wasn't kidding about pitching you off the side of the building," she warned.

Haku chuckled. "Ah well." He leaned on one slender white hand.

It was warm, it was early, and everything just felt so _right_, that Chihiro thought, _what the hell_, and reached for that hand.

The moment their fingers touched he froze, and looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"Chihiro?"

"Yes, Haku?" she replied innocently, staring out as straight as he was pretending to. He laughed softly.

"Nevermind."

He shifted his weight and laced his fingers through hers, and she felt that golden warmth spreading into a shining grin. It was heady and happy and it was just _nice_ not to think about angst or boyfriends, to have a friendly, familiar hand to hold as you basked in the morning air.

"I know I couldn't remember you," she said, "When I was back in the living world. But I feel like I missed you anyway."

"I missed you," he said, and pressed her hand.

"`M sorry," she said.

"You know, if I'm not allowed to feel guilty, you aren't either. Or do you want a swim?" She laughed at him, but shook her head. "No, no swimming."

They sat there a while longer, and somehow they fidgeted their way to leaning against one another, hands still clasped.

"I should probably get going," Chihiro said apologetically.

Haku grimaced. "I should as well. Yubaba's been in even more foul a mood than usual the past few days. I'm a bit sick of being her keeper."

"Sucks to be you," she giggled, then she turned to look at him. "Bye," she told him softly, letting her fingers fall slack in his as she stood—

_Green eyes seemingly aching with pain. Pain she didn't quite percieve, and simultaneously, years later, wanted to cry for._

_ "I promise..."_

_ A slim, warm hand holding hers, softly, loosely. Slipping free as she ran, tiny feet pounding the ground and a warm glow in her heart._

"Chihiro?" A voice asked worriedly, and part of her would know that voice anywhere.

"Haku..." she mumbled, and shook her head. "Sorry. I...remembered something."

"What was it?" he enquired softly.

"I..." she shook her head. "I don't know. It was...so sad. A promise, I think."

"To whom?"

"To me. I don't know who, or what, but I know someone promised me something."

Haku was silent for a long moment. "I might know what—" he began cautiously.

Chihiro never heard him, though, because Aya was coming up the corridor and she'd turned to face her.

The beautiful girl smiled winsomely at the pair of them and waved. "Wanna get breakfast?" she asked Chihiro. "You could come if you like," she generously offered to Haku.

"Uh, no, that's alright," he rushed out, standing up and making to hurry away. Throwing one more intense and slightly wistful look in Chihiro's direction, he vanished around the corner.

"I wish he wouldn't do that," Chihiro sighed.

"Do what?" Aya asked her, sliding her arm so they locked elbows.

Chihiro smiled tiredly at her friend. "That thing where he freaks out and runs away as though I was going to eat him. We were fine just a few minutes ago, now he's all skittish. Maybe it's..." _you_, Chihiro finished in her head. In a moment, though, the thought had wiped itself clean out of her mind.

"Maybe it's what?" Aya asked insistently. Chihiro started.

"I don't know," she said. "I...what were we talking about?"

Aya peered at her concernedly. "Chi-chan, you're so scatterbrained!"

"Mmm," Chihiro acknowledged, distracted. What had she been thinking?

"Anyway," Aya continued, still watching Chihiro like a hawk, "It's breakfast time. Maybe you should be eating more fish, that's good for memory, right?"

Her friend shot her a sunny smile as she dragged her away.

xXx

True to her suggestion, Ayameko came back to Chihiro with two bowls, one of which contained an extra portion of fish on top of the rice.

"Thanks," she told the older girl, taking her bowl and digging in. Her missing thought was still bothering her, niggling uncomfortably at the back of her mind. She always hated it when that happened; an idea fully formed in the brain, but by the time it reached the mouth to meet the world, it had evaporated like water on an iron stove. Usually it was important things, too, like her mother's birthday, or a track meet, or an exam. She'd remember eventually, but it might not be in time.

Wolfing down the tail end of her rice, Chihiro grinned at Aya and stood, taking the bowls. "See you later," she told her friend. She was on bath cleaning duty today. Ayameko and her section were working in the garden.

"Bye!" Her friend shot her a beautiful grin, got to her feet, and ran out after another girl from her section. At the door, she turned and waved, before continuing on. Chihiro stared after her, feeling a bit dreamy.

Sighing, she walked to the kitchens, her feet slapping lightly on the wood as she made her way to the dish drop bucket, where the staff deposited the remnants of their meals three times a day. Scraping the last grains of rice into the slop bucket, she dropped the bowls and chopsticks into the bucket of soapy water, and turned away.

Across the hall, she spotted a green-ish black braid, and she stopped to watch Haku speaking earnestly to a frog spirit, who was nodding along. Part of her wanted to hail him, but another part of her said quietly, _Leave him be. He's busy, he hasn't got time for you right now. _Chihiro smiled to herself. He was busy, all the time. Sometimes she thought their snatched conversations were the only time he wasn't moving. And it was time for work, anyway.

It wasn't until she reached the bath she was assigned to clean, after greeting Lin and a few other girls and claiming her bucket of supplies, that she realized that it had never occurred to her to deffer a conversation with Haku before, simply on the grounds that he might be _busy_.

xXx

"Hey," Lin called softly into the night air outside the sleeping room. "Chihiro?"

"Yes?" her friend called back, just as softly. Lin felt her heart contract at that voice. She'd missed it, when her little friend had gone back to the human world. Everyone had missed her. To Lin it was like she'd lost a sister, a brave, silly girl with her pure heart and that beautiful strength. When Chihiro had left the bathhouse, Lin had wanted to cry—but she'd also been glad that the sweet, obstinate little girl would have the chance to grow into a strong, lovely woman in her own world.

"Can I talk to you?" Lin asked, slipping out of the dormitory and sliding the door closed behind herself.

Chihiro, who'd been sitting with her legs hanging over the edge, ten feet away from the door, turned moon-glazed eyes on her friend and mentor, who felt a twinge of unease. "Sure, Lin."

The older girl lowered herself to the planking and took a deep breath.

"Are you alright? Is everything alright between you and Haku?"

Chihiro cocked her head, looking puzzled. "Yes, why?"

"You've just seemed a little...disjointed recently."

"I'm fine, Lin," the girl insisted, tone firm. "I'm just having trouble sleeping is all."

Lin sighed. The girl _had_ just lost her boyfriend, but she'd been getting along with Haku like wildfire and she'd thought that maybe the love that had been between those two since Chihiro had come to the Spirit World for the first time would help the younger girl in her healing. And for a while, it seemed like it was helping. But today, she'd heard them speaking through the paper door—the thing was hardly the last word in privacy—and more importantly, she'd heard Haku flee when Aya turned up. And later Chihiro had basically ignored Haku in the corridor by the kitchens. She'd never known either of them to give up the chance to exchange a word or a smile.

She sighed again. "You're sure you're alright?" she asked again, cautiously.

Another quicksilver, assessing glance. "I swear that I am completely fine, Lin."

But she couldn't shake that uneasy feeling. Faking a smile, Lin gave Chihiro a bracing pat on the shoulder and stood. "Go to sleep soon," she told her, and retreated back inside the sliding door.

She heard Chihiro call "Good night," to her, and she burrowed back into her sleeping mat with a feeling of sadness and dissatisfaction. Something was wrong, very wrong. Chihiro was like her sister, and in the years since she'd first come and gone, Haku had become just as close to Lin as Chihiro had been. Something was wrong for him as well, Lin could feel it whenever he passed her in the hall. He still greeted her like normal—a slight incline of the head, maybe a smile—but there was a substance missing. Like he was a clockwork person, not a living, thriving spirit. The thought that her two most important people were hurting for some reason that Lin could not grasp—it made her heartsick. As she stared into the darkness of the room, she knew that Chihiro wouldn't come to bed tonight, or if she did, she'd be out on that balcony again in an hour or two. She knew that Haku would greet her mechanically in the morning, and would be just a little distracted if they talked. As she stared into the darkness of the sleeping room, her eyes filled with tears.

She didn't know what was wrong. She didn't know what to do.

xXx

Parting Comments: What is this! I finished a chapter? Holy Jesus!

I reiterate, I'm sorry. This shouldn't have taken as long as it did, and by no means will the next update take _two freaking years_, if there's anyone even following this anymore.

Gah. I hope it was good enough to make up for all the lost time. I know my writing style's changed a lot since the last time I gave you all something to read in this fandom, so I hope it doesn't disappoint. I feel that the more mature style better fits the subject matter, at any rate.

Hugs, Kisses, and A Lot of Apologies,

Eden


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